Random Thoughts Again

I haven’t been able to really come up with any unique titles for these random blogs lately. Just going to keep rolling with the random thoughts title in the meantime.  

I’ve been getting my Steve Wilkos overdose on this past week. One show was about a mother trying to reconnect with her daughter who has been sleeping with her father. Yes, the father and daughter are having sex. Didn’t think Steve did those kind of shows. The daughter stayed with the father in the end and didn’t really want anything to do with the mother even though the father had been lying about all the things the mother had done.

I’m not sure what it is about the Steve Wilkos show that I like so much but even if it’s fake, the situation are good.  I mean, there are people really in situations like the ones on the show. One show, a chick cheated on her man. She had two kids by him. Her man didn’t believe the kids were his. He turns around and starts cheating on her. Both kids ended up being his. He was cheating and had slept with more than 5 women. When he failed the lie detector test, he was like yep, you got what was coming to you. I was like, damn!  She cheated on him like 2 years or so ago and he never let it. That relationship was going nowhere fast.

The 4^th of July is coming up real quick. Thinking about hitting the next state line for some of those real fire crackers. The 4^th at one time was my 2^nd favorite holiday next to Christmas. I liked playing with fire and that day was the only day I was handed matches or a lighter to use all day or however long it lasted. Black cats, bottle rockets and roman candles were my thing. I still have a bunch of black cats and bottle rockets that I’ve had for like 10 years. I’m not really into them these days so they will just sit there until I can just throw all of them in a barrel of fire at once. I’m more into the stuff that shots off in the air and explodes something big and colorful.

What are you planning to do for the holiday?

Random Thoughts 3

Last night I got to thinking about sex. Then I got to thinking about kissing. Kissing, in my life today, is nothing like it was back in the day. I remember the very first time I kissed a girl in the mouth. That feeling was intoxicating. It had my mouth tingling all the way home. During the kiss, it’s like I zoned out and had this good feeling. In my mind, since that was the only feeling I knew, that’s how I was supposed to feel during the kiss. Getting to first base was cool to me. It showed me that she liked me. It’s hard to believe but I was content with just a kiss here and there for months with no sex. Really I was content with a kiss even if sex never came. Today, it’s like there’s no first base anymore. Only grand slams and sometimes afterwards, game over. 2^nd and 3^rd based are sent in pictures, haa.  I guess it’s because I’m not out trying to get in relationships so the kiss part is skipped.

Every day this week, I got up way too early. Kind of sucks but I’m off this weekend so it’ll be ok. I’m sitting here right now waiting on the game to come. I’m hoping OKC can pull it off tonight to extend the finals. I’m not ready for it to end. The playoffs have been in for a long time it seems(feels like I’ve already wrote this?). Honestly, I’m hoping OKC can win the next 3 games but then again, I don’t want to hear about Lebron James getting slaughtered for another year. He’s earned his chance to win this year so I wouldn’t be mad if he did.

It’s been a long time since I had a good weekend from start to finish. I think I’m due for that. Whether it’s felt with lots of activities or if I’m on chill mode, I’m ready. I think I’m going to go wash my ride up and bump this.

That sounds like a plan to me. Starting my weekend off with positive thoughts.

Before I forget, I’ve taking over 2000 random pictures in the past year. That’s more pictures in one year than I’ve taking in my whole life. When I was younger, I had thing for taking pictures but never really got into it. About a year ago, someone started to send me random pictures. Whatever I felt about that was just enough to finally turn that mental switch on to help me start taking pictures. Thank you Peaches Jen for the inspiration.  

Random Thoughts 2

What’s been going on in my life? Well, a whole lot but at the same time a whole lot of nothing. Been kind of, “just here” for a long while. It’s like being at work not knowing what time you’re going to get off and you’re just dealing with it in a numb way. The thing is, I don’t know what I’m waiting for but I know it’ll come sooner or later so I’m just dealing with it. Honestly, it sounds depressing.

Just coming off a 4 day weekend. Seemed kind of long and boring for the most part. Finally got out to sip a little and didn’t have a hang over the next day so that was good. I was nap away from hitting the road to start my 4 days off but didn’t do it.

I’ve noticed something about people but not sure if I’m tripping or not? When people are married or in a relationship and feeling pretty good about it, they don’t seem to care much about others. I mean, they talk like they have figured out it all out. So confident when they talk about dealing with people problems without a care for how they go about solving it. Have you noticed that?

I’ve also noticed that these same people, once things go south with their partner or it ends, they are just as weak as the single lonely person sounds. Funny how that works. It’s like, they were so high from that feeling of having someone but never really fixed anything. I don’t know, it’s just something I’ve observed.

What else, Fakebook is not the same. I mean, I don’t even know what to say anymore on there. The statuses are different plus not very many interesting things that are catching my eye. Those ecard have more substance and are more interesting than anything else.

I plan to drop a few a blogs that I’ve been holding on too for a long time. I wrote a blog over a year ago about my Anti-Relationshipism and wish I would’ve dropped it back then but wasn’t sure where I was going to blog. I still would like to find a place that I can post music to that comes on when you open that individual blog it pertains to.  

What are your plans for the Summer? I don’t really have any. I’m moment to moment living for the most part these days. I’d still like to hit some cities up but it might be too warn for that now. Might have to wait until September when the nights are cooler.

My Own Definition

I never could define friend. I mean, it’s a very general relationship and everyone has their own opinion of what a friend is.

I put some thought into it a little while back based off of what I don’t think a friend is and this is what I came up with.

A friend: having companionship with someone who accepts you for who you are.

There’s also a lot of factors in my definition that I haven‘t figured out how to add in yet. One of the most important factors in a friendship is chemistry.

Sheeeiit, who am I kidding, chemistry IS the key factor in a friend. Before, I would’ve said that if there wasn’t any chemistry, it wouldn’t work. There is always chemistry whether it works or not. Chemistry is what the friendship is made up of.

I’ve used the word “friend” very loosely and not everyone that I say is a friend is my “friend”. Honestly, probably more than 75% of the people I say is my friend really aren’t. I say that because not very many people that I call a friend, accepts me for who I am. It’s kind of sad but true.

It’s not about what you can gain or how much a person is there for you. It’s not about being a yes man or if you are on time. To me, that’s more of the bonuses and some factors that I haven’t figured out yet.

I’m selfish but semi generous on the humble tip. I’ve been told that I “lack compassion”. That’s interesting because it bothers me to see or hear that a parent (s) neglect their children. I like watching cartoons. I stay rooting for the Boston Celtics until their season is over then I say, they will do it next year. I’d rather look forward to eating whatever sweets I took to work for my lunch than to think about the fact that I’m work. I’m turned off by many things anymore and I’ll bit my tongue to keep from hurting feelings at times. I understand that there are many ways to go about something at times. I’m single by choice and my reasons are my own. I play the background because I feel I learn more by watching and listening then to be the one in front doing all the talking. I’m not as complicated as Alpha Algebra or not as simple as 1,2,3 but this is me.

We learned in Elementary school and maybe even in Head Start that no one is the same. Similar but not the same. We have to learn how to deal with that and accept others because NO ONE IS YOU. You don’t even have to accept a person but if you want people in your life, you will have to.

Anymore, being someone’s friend has become difficult due to the high levels of the 7 Deadly Sins.(I don’t know if I said that right?) I don’t know maybe I’m tripping but if you can’t be a person’s friend(my definition) then how can you be more or even want more from that person?

What is your definition of a friend? Do you have any friends?

Betrayel at It's Finest

I’m sitting here watching Real Crime/Real Story, episode 1. It’s about the chick that the movie Monster was based on. She was abused a kid and hit the streets as a teenager. She  was prostituting and what not then started murdering men.

I’m all into it because I remember bits and pieces of the movie plus there’s something about all the shows on ID the draw me in.

Along the way, she met this woman that she fell in love with. I guess they split up after they were seen fleeing a stolen car of one of her victims. A drawing of their picture was TV.

The police figured out where these women were hanging out so they sent an undercover into the bars to find them. The undercover finds her and befriends her. One day she gaps out on the guy so they police steps in and arrest her.

Then they get ahold of her ex lover who she clearly was still in love with. This is part where I started to get bothered. They have her lover in custody, she snitches about one of the murders. The police then tells the exlover that they will charge her with murder unless she agrees to set up the woman. She agrees. So they have her get ahold of the woman while she’s in jail still and they start having taped conversations on the phone.

This is the next part that bothers me. The police is sitting in the room with the exlover while they are having these convos. The police are coming up with questions to get the woman to confess. The woman is not breaking. The police then gets the exlover to get desperate. The Exlover gets all dramatic talking about she’s scared, they are going to arrest her, blah blah blah and the woman breaks. Because she loved this woman so much, she confessed to keep her out of trouble.

To add insult to injury, during the trial, the exlover is called to the stand and spills the beans. The woman is sitting there like wtf. I felt bad for the woman. Sitting there watching the person she turned herself in for, snitch on her.

The woman was charged with like 6 death sentences and eventually executed. All her life she was betrayed by everybody. They didn’t even consider that. It was clear that she had been broken inside since a young age.  She claims that she was raped by the first guy she murdered and I guess she snapped. I hate snitches so I can only imagine what she felt like watching the person she was in love with snitch. Before the woman was executed, they interviewed her and she still said she loved her and hopes God send her back to be her guardian Angel. Then the crooked ass police played their part by using the exlover. I just can’t seem to agree with how police operate at times. How can you charge a person with murder but say if you do something for us, we will let you go. That’s justified blackmail.

Using fear to get what you want out of people is some cold shit.